It has been 6 months since my surgery. Sadly, I report… I do not feel better. To be honest, I feel worse. I feel worse than I did a year ago, before I even knew what Chiari malformation was… the nerve pain in my limbs is returning full force as is the burning under my shoulder blades and on top of that here is the new nerve pain throughout my head. I’ve got some form of a headache/migraine everyday. PT seems to only be making things worse. We are trying to remain positive but, I fear a trip back to the neuro is imminent.. I do not plan to have a decompression surgery again unless it is absolutely medically necessary. It is hard to admit, but I am more than a little angry about this whole situation. I know, God’s will and plans, not mine, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder why…why does my son have to watch this happen to his mom? I’m supposed to be strong, my family shouldn’t have to watch me struggle!!! Why can’t I just beat this? And Bless it all, why doesn’t positive thinking just fix this?!*sarcasm*
We always take a picture in front of our Christmas tree. I’m sure most families do. Setting the timer on the phone, and quickly getting to your places.
This year our furry family members kindly reminded us that we were forgetting to include them! How dare us, really! Enter stage right, our silly dog Spencer, and of course Mr. Kitty was right behind him!
Ha Ha Ha
Happy New year everyone!
Try as you may, try as you might, you will find in life that there are some people you just can’t make happy. No matter what you do, or don’t do, say or don’t say, you can’t make them happy. And, the reason you cannot make them happy is because it is not your job. They choose not to be happy. All too often these very people are your own family. Whether they be in-laws, or blood, you will find some people are just best to stay away from. They are poisonous. They are so unhappy with their own lives that they choose to drag down anyone around them.
Please spread awareness! Chiari Malformation, also known as Arnold Chiari Malformation, is a rare brain disorder where the skull does not form big enough to hold the cerebellum. It is related to spina bifida, that is how serious Chiari is. It reduces the flow of fluid throughout the brain and body. It can be extremely debilitating, worsening as time goes on. Sadly, there is no cure for Chiari there are surgeries to help ease the pain and pressure that the brain puts on the spine, but there is no cure! So please help raise awareness! September is Chiari Awareness Month. September is the month for all invisible chronic illnesses! Wear purple! Google it! Research it! Talk about it! If you are a doctor or nurse, or in the healthcare industry at all, please learn about it! There are so many people who are misdiagnosed!
I am going through a whirl wind of emotions. With surgery about 4 days away my mind is all over the place. Humour has always been my place of refuge; sort of like Chandler on the epic series Friends, comedy, humour, they are my armour.
Walking through my local dollar store I found this little gem 😁 oh the smile this brought me is priceless! I’ve warned my family to watch out, now I’ve got a service bell.
The Golden Rule. Treat people like you want them to treat you. The Golden Rule. With a bit of effort it’s not that hard to do. The Golden Rule. When you make a mistake, how would you like someone to treat you? When you are feeling ill, what would you want your loved one to do? The Golden Rule.
Follow the Golden Rule.
Don’t treat others in a way you wouldn’t want them treating you.
When I started this blog my aim was to try to stay focused, but, my mind pulls in so many different directions! I think I’ve decided that that’s exactly what this blog will be. It will simply, be. I will allow my mind to pull me in whatever direction it wants to go in, and write about whatever passionately takes hold in my mind, in that moment!
I’ve been contemplating life for the past couple of years. I feel like I’ve grown a great awareness and a very deep connection with my God. He talks to me and he guides me and my intuition has never been stronger!
I’ve learned that I have to get out of my own way if I ever want to accomplish anything! I have never felt more free, more content, more fulfilled in my life, and I’m weeks away from brain surgery.. it is crazy the way things seem to just fall into place, the obviousness of divine intervention, the peace that I feel most days, even whilst in the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced, has cemented that old adage that everything in life happens for a reason. Every heart ache, mistake, missed oppurtunity, all bring me to right here, right now, who I am in this moment.
“This is me. And I am in love with her!”
I have learned to say no to people, people that I love and care about, and for a people pleaser which I have been my whole life, that is extremely hard to do! I stand up for myself now, the way I always stood up for others. I have learned to love people where they’re at, but, I now know that, that does not mean I have to allow them to treat me badly.
I choose to get up each day and believe that there will be good in that day, no matter how I feel and no matter what is happening.
I have allowed God to work in me and make me the person He created me to be!
Getting out of my own way has been the best thing I could have ever done for myself! And it has prepared me for what is coming soon. Every trial, every ache every pain, every hardship, has made me who I am and has gotten me ready for what is to come.
I know there are quite a lot of pictures in this post but you see, I’m very visual. I love the brightness in the color of life and if I can bring a smile to at least one of your faces, then my job is done for the day.
I want to share what Joy I have and give people hope, that no matter what you are going through, you don’t have to be miserable, you don’t have to be ashamed, you don’t have to feel guilty. There is always someone who cares, even if you don’t know them, even when you feel like there is no one. I care, even when I don’t know you, or don’t like you, or really don’t want to *laughs* it is exhausting, but, I always care. I was made that way, and each day I will embrace it more and more.
Be the most authentic version of yourself! Life is to short for anything less!
So you’re upset with your significant other, how do you handle it? What is your go-to? Are you closed mouthed and moody? Do you stomp around the house agitated until someone asks you what is wrong? Or are you straight forward, tackling the problem looking for a solution? Are you willing and able?
Do you love the person you are with enough to put yourself out there to find out what is really bothering them? Would you allow yourself to be hurt to learn that you may be the legitimate cause of the problem? I am finding, the older I get, when my husband and I are having disagreements I approached it head-on. I don’t like passive aggressive behavior? It is a waste of time. I used to behave that way. Dreadful. Thankfully, by the grace of God, as I’ve aged I’ve learned that kind of behavior only exasperates the situation, it never helps it. Lying, and saying you’re fine when you’re not will not resolve anything. And holding onto anger only poisons your soul. So why not get over yourself? Talk about it. Put yourself out there and find out what the problem is then together look for a solution, a compromise, because if you really love someone it’s worth the time!
If you really love someone you will take the time to rid yourself of poisonous and negative behaviors that may be destroying your relationship, and if that person really loves you they will do the same.