Humour in times of Anxiety

I am going through a whirl wind of emotions. With surgery about 4 days away my mind is all over the place. Humour has always been my place of refuge; sort of like Chandler on the epic series Friends, comedy, humour, they are my armour.

$1.07 can really go a long way sometimes

Walking through my local dollar store I found this little gem ๐Ÿ˜ oh the smile this brought me is priceless! I’ve warned my family to watch out, now I’ve got a service bell. 

*ding ding*

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My Mid-Morning Breakthrough

When I started this blog  my aim was to try to stay focused,  but, my mind pulls in so many different directions! I think I’ve decided that that’s exactly what this blog will be. It will simply, be. I will allow my mind to pull me in whatever direction it wants to go in, and write about whatever passionately takes hold in my mind, in that moment! 

No more analyzing. No more. Ive wasted so much time in my life over analyzing, overthinking. So much has happened so recently, so much change, in such a short

The original intent has been completely lost and this has become my place, this blog is for me, and if somehow it helps someone, anyone else, icing on the cake! 

I’ve been contemplating life for the past couple of years. I feel like I’ve grown a great awareness and a very deep connection with my God. He talks to me and he guides me and my intuition has never been stronger! 

I’ve learned that I have to get out of my own way if I ever want to accomplish anything! I have never felt more free, more content, more fulfilled in my life, and I’m weeks away from brain surgery.. it is crazy the way things seem to just fall into place, the obviousness of divine intervention, the peace that I feel most days, even whilst in the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced, has cemented that old adage that everything in life happens for a reason. Every heart ache, mistake, missed oppurtunity, all bring me to right here, right now, who I am in this moment.

After nearly a life time of feeling like not enough and too much at the same time, I can honestly, joyfully say, 

“This is me. And I am in love with her!”

I have learned to say no to people, people that I love and care about, and for a people pleaser which I have been my whole life, that is extremely hard to do! I stand up for myself now, the way I always stood up for others. I have learned to love people where they’re at, but, I now know that, that does not mean I have to allow them to treat me badly. 

I don’t waste my energy on the petty things that I used to think were so important. 

I am uniquely and wonderfully made, and so are you!

I choose to get up each day and believe that there will be good in that day, no matter how I feel and no matter what is happening. 

 I have allowed God to work in me and make me the person He created me to be! 

Getting out of my own way has been the best thing I could have ever done for myself! And it has prepared me for what is coming soon. Every trial, every ache  every pain, every hardship, has made me who I am and has gotten me ready for what is to come. 

I know there are quite a lot of pictures in this post but you see, I’m very visual. I love the brightness in the color of life and if I can bring a smile to at least one of your faces, then my job is done for the day. 

I want to share what Joy I have and give people hope, that no matter what you are going through, you don’t have to be miserable, you don’t have to be ashamed, you don’t have to feel guilty. There is always someone who cares, even if you don’t know them, even when you feel like there is no one. I care, even when I don’t know you, or don’t like you, or really don’t want to *laughs* it is exhausting, but, I always care. I was made that way, and each day I will embrace it more and more.

In all the pain I am in today, I feel like I have finally fully decided to be completely and totally, unashamedly, undeniably, me.

Be the most authentic version of yourself! Life is to short for anything less!

Willing and Able? Having Healthy Conflicts in Love

So you’re upset with your significant other, how do you handle it? What is your go-to? Are you closed mouthed and moody? Do you stomp around the house agitated until someone asks you what is wrong? Or are you straight forward, tackling the problem looking for a solution? Are you willing and able?

Do you love the person you are with enough to put yourself out there to find out what is really bothering them? Would you allow yourself to be hurt to learn that you may be the legitimate cause of the problem? I am finding, the older I get, when my husband and I are having disagreements I approached it head-on. I don’t like passive aggressive behavior? It is a waste of time. I used to behave that way. Dreadful. Thankfully, by the grace of God, as I’ve aged I’ve learned that kind of behavior only exasperates the situation, it never helps it. Lying, and saying you’re fine when you’re not will not resolve anything. And holding onto anger only poisons your soul. So why not get over yourself? Talk about it. Put yourself out there and find out what the problem is then together look for a solution, a compromise, because if you really love someone it’s worth the time! 

If you really love someone you will take the time to rid yourself of poisonous and negative behaviors that may be destroying your relationship, and if that person really loves you they will do the same.

Meet Mr. Kittyย 

Always by my side. A little blessing in disguise. Who’d have known a year ago how dear you’d be to me. My tiny fury friend. You are an awesome companion indeed! We almost didn’t bring you home that day..but my heart tugged back to your cage. I’m so thankful I followed my heart that day! 

My favorite fury friend ๐Ÿ˜ป

Animals love us in a way that people simply cannot. I am not faulting people, we are all flawed. I am saying, the love of an animal is pure, no motives, except possibly an extra treat, they simply adore us! 

Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty ๐Ÿฑ sleepy kitty, purr purr purr ๐Ÿ˜ธ

I must admit I have never loved an animal the way I love my cat! He always knows when I need him! It may sound crazy to you, but I simply do not care, I believe the good Lord placed Smokey in my life for a purpose. There’s a reason my heart would not let me leave that shelter without him. He makes me smile ๐Ÿ˜ƒ he loves on me when I cry ๐Ÿ˜ข and he rarely leaves my side. 

My cat is awesome!

If you suffer from a chronic illness/chronic pain, I highly recommend, from experience, that you find yourself a pet! One that fills your heart and brings you Joy! 

We don’t have to suffer alone๐Ÿ’œ

Love your Enemies

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
Matthew 5:43โ€ญ-โ€ฌ45 ESV

http://bible.com/59/mat.5.43-45.ESV

Seriously. Pray for your enemies. It is incredibly freeing!

Nature Helps to Fill My Cup

Enjoying the beauty of nature with one of my favorite guys

We made it out to one of our favorite places today, Sawgrass Lake. This is something we were supposed to be doing all summer, but, unfortunately I can rarely find the energy for outings like this unless my husband is along for the ride. I was determined today! And thankfully mother nature abliged and kept the rain at bay.

Serenity at it’s best!

We had lofty hopes the heat wouldn’t be to terrible.. Who were we kidding?? It is the end of June in Florida after all. We were just lucky to have a breeze that was not carrying a storm straight for us!

He is no longer amused, and I don’t blame him.

We decide after an hour that it’s best we start heading back to the air conditioning. We saw two baby gators, a handful of turtles, a few birds I’d like to call ducks but they don’t quite fit the bill, and one rather large racoon who is clearly not having any trouble finding food.  

Small black “duck” in the distance
I plan to have as many good days as possible before surgery becomes an even larger reality. With an uncertain future looming in the distance, I am at least able to rest assured on some very lovely truths; 

  1. I am deeply loved
  2. I will not ever be alone, no matter how alone I may feel
  3. And, His Grace is sufficient for me

I find the truth in that, for even as I write I can hear the sky coming to life. 

The sky is coming to life, and we are safe inside.

I like to believe the good Lord knew how badly I needed into nature today, and it was He that kept the rain at bay so that I could refill my cup today.

A Change of Perspectiveย 

So here’s the deal. Life is what I make it. There are many things in life beyond my control. I do however, have control over my attitude. I can control the way I choose to handle unfortunate situations. 

Understanding that I only have control over my part, in any given situation, gives me the freedom to choose how to react. By realizing I am in control of my attitude, the words I say, even the thoughts I think, I am set free!

Life is what you make it. 

Hate me for saying it If you want. 

I lived most of my life thinking ‘life is what you make it’ was a load of shit.. Honestly. I use to think the whole world was against me. All the odds had been stacked in some other lucky person’s favor. 

I was miserable. 

The sky was falling.. All the time.

And it was always someone else’s fault.

I was wrong.

Seriously.

Now, granted, sometimes life is just a big bungled up mess! Things happen. Or don’t happen. Sometimes things are happening and not happening, all at the same time. And it can be incredibly hard to choose the right way to handle everything.  That does not change the fact that you are in charge of yourself. 
Rarely will there be a time when you are not.

It sounds corny, but life is what you make it, but that’s only because it’s tossed around so frequently without a thought about what it really means.

Life is what you make it.

If you choose to be upset about every little thing that does not go your way, life will most likely be stressful. Things rarely go our way.

If you choose joy instead, life will be much more pleasant. Obviously.

Is it always going to be easy, remembering we are in control of our attitudes? No. 

Is it going to be worth it?  You better believe it!

Enjoy your life

Life is what you make it!

Afternoon Jam ๐ŸŽธ Break Watch “Sweet Indian Child of Mine | Baiju Dharmajan | Girish Pradhan” on YouTube

     Good afternoon! I hope it is a good afternoon for you all! 

     I came across this little gem on my morning facebook scroll. I’ve always loved the song Sweet Child of Mine, it makes me think of my daughter and her stunning blue eyes. 

     So when I came across this I was impressed. It took me on a happy stroll down memory lane as I thought about how it made me think of my son now as well. His eyes are not blue like his sisters. They are a deep, soulful brown, but none the less, he is my sweet child.

     I appreciate people who are unconventional. Outside the box. I think we should be so ‘US’, so ourselves, that it is undeniable! Anyway. I hope you enjoy!

https://youtu.be/Sweet Child O’ Mine Cover

     And enjoy the rest of your day!๐ŸŽถ

Sweet Child O’ Mine

Guns N’ Roses

Lyrics

She’s got a smile it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I’d stare too long
I’d probably break down and cry

Oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o’ mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine

She’s got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I’d hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by

Oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o’ mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o’ mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o’ mine
Oh,
Sweet love of mine…

Today’s Epiphany

Last night I was discussing the idea with my husband that things just sort of seem to snowball after you hit 30. It really seems like every other day at least, there’s another problem; another obstacle in the way of our ultimate goals in life.

Life can leave you wondering what next?

Now since last night it has occurred to me the reason things seem snowball. Obviously this is only my opinion but I believe it has Merit. As we get older our circle becomes larger and the number of people we care for grows. We have children, we may have grandchildren. And we care about our parents in a different way. By becoming more aware the older we get we find we are affected more greatly by things, the while being children, went widely unnoticed. Life was simpler.

As adults we have more things to care about, and more things to concern ourselves with. We have more things that we are personally responsible for.

I believe this is what creates the illusion that things are spinning out of control, because as adults we have so many things that were trying to be in control of. The burden is greater. The weight of it all, heavier. The consequences larger. And there is definitely more at stake.

Like a movie director we want everything to go the way we’ve planned it. The actors in our movie must say the right lines at the right times, and be ever in their places.

It is in this constant controlling that we lose our joy. How do we let go? How do we let go of this control that steals our joy? Well. Not very easily I can tell you that. And probably never completely, but if we practice we can stop projecting our expections on every one and everything in our lives. I really believe you can always find joy in suffering. You may have to look extremely hard, but it is there.

Back to my point.

As we grow older we become more aware of our surroundings. Learning and growing forming deeper relationships with other people and this leads us to Care more deeply for others. So we are more greatly affected by the things that happened to the people around us. Their pain essentially is our pain. I don’t know about you, but, when I find out my children, or my husband, or my mother, or one of my siblings is having a bad day or bad season in their life it affects me.

Maybe that is why, the older we get, the more it seems like its always something. 

Just a thought.